I’m looking through the selection when I spot something that might look good. I turn to ask her opinion.
“Do you think these would look nice on me?”
That probably wasn’t a good idea.
“You’re asking for my honest opinion?”
It wasn’t. I should just end it before it begins. But I can’t. I am my own prisoner, chained to the destiny of the small flame I just ignited. I nod.
“I’d rather if you didn’t wear this sort of style. Why don’t you just stick with wearing conservative colors?”
On the outside I roll my eyes. But on the inside, a silent scream rips through me as the small fire bursts into flames. I didn’t ask your advice on how to run my life! I am old enough to make my own decisions! I can do what I want; I can wear what I want! Stop telling me what to do!
---
I must talk this over. I must hear that I’m right. I turn to you. You always tell me I’m right.
“Tell me she’s being unfair,” I cry. “Tell me I can do what I want. Please, tell me I can do what I want!”
But for the first time, you are against me. “I can’t,” you say. “I’m sorry. The only one who can free you is yourself.”
I am hurt. Disappointed. Can’t you help me? Can’t you take my side? But no, you’re telling me to do the impossible. Worse yet, you’re telling me to hurt. But you are the only person I trust.
I will have to trust you again.
---
Later that evening I approach her. It is impossible. I speak haltingly.
“I asked your opinion earlier… and you gave it willingly. But I rejected it completely… I want to tell you that I sincerely appreciate the advice you gave me… You told me what is best for me, and I should not have been angry. I am sorry for rejecting you outright. I am sorry for becoming angry at you.”
There is no sweat on my brow. Strangely, I feel no emotion. But through the deafening silence that is me, I hear the sound of her sobs. I look up, and the tears are streaming down her face.
I am free at last.
5 comments:
Did you get that shirt?
shirt, eh?
You have answered yourself with the title explanation to "spontaneous generation."
Perhaps you should read what you wrote once again:
"Where do the young get the nerve to ignore the old? Why don’t we all just listen instead of claim to know? And yet here I am, writing to you: the spontaneous generation."
No one else can put you into your own prison. You ignited you own fire. It seems as though you are causing pain to others because of the pain you have yet to deal with within yourself.
You have answered yourself.
I do not recall asking.
No one else can put you into your own prison. You ignited you own fire. It seems as though you are causing pain to others because of the pain you have yet to deal with within yourself.
1. I have no idea what this paragraph might mean.
2. Just a quote that I'd like to quote, just because i can: Just because you said something right, doesn't mean you said something good.
gevalt! blogs can get so...territorial. and ornery. yes, very ornery. especially when it comes to spelling. suddenly, we are all supposed to have perfect spelling. there's also a tendency to ramble. right. ok i'll get to the point.
neat stuff, good writing, thanks for sharing.
("less is more!") < thanks for liberating the quoter in me.
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